This is my Valentine to Midlife Women.
You know who you are. You are women of a “certain age,” coming to terms with and attaining an understanding of the ways of life and of the world. You understand that attractiveness, sexiness, sensuality and substance do not need a teddy, slim midriff, and lineless skin. Rather, you understand that your power is in your brains, your empathy, your sensuality and your solidity. You are realizing that now is the time for you.
You have a cadre of good friends for whom you are available, and are available for you. What a healing wonder is female friendship! You have the understanding and the support that your opposites of the male persuasion frequently eschew.
Safe Therapies and Procedures
There now exists, should you desire to avail yourself, modes of safe (and even protective) estrogen hormone therapy to lower your risk of cardiovascular disease and senescence and help maintain skin tone and vaginal moisture and pliability. There are an amazing array of skin and body comfort-adjustments at your service, from non-invasive skin and collagen adjustments, including Pelleve and laser, to minimally invasive procedures (Botox, fillers, lipo), to the more invasive ones (facial, abdominal, genital surgical adjustments).
When is the last time you did something for YOU? Have you taken the time to evaluate what you eat? Is what you’re putting in your body giving it life? Are you moving your body? It’s time to understand the necessity of a regular exercise program (“…you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it). Most importantly, it’s time to truly understand the immense value to your calmness, your joy, your strength, your appearance, and your immune system as a real and regular stress reduction regimen. It’s amazing the value of ALL of these things and how they are incorporated daily with your psyche, your sleep, and your sexuality. Attention to your “lifestyle” gives you ultimate freedom and power.
Do you have questions on hormones, sexuality issues, or estrogen and testosterone therapy? I have many essays, blogs and links available here on my website. Another great source of information is the literature available on www.menopause.org. Or perhaps you could Google “mindfulness-based meditation and stress reduction” programs, followed by the name of your city. Your journey isn’t even close to complete. You’ll see: The best is yet to come!
You may be old(er), but ya ain’t dead yet! You can add life to your years.
Here are six things I highly recommend looking into:
- Reading material – I recommend “Not Your Mother’s Midlife” and”40 Fearless Women” by Nancy Alspach and Marilyn Kentz and of course my book, “The Midlife Bible, a Woman’s Survival Guide.” There are many other good books, too numerous to mention.
- Stress reduction – There’s no reason why you can’t operate in this new paradigm of calm. It won’t just come to you. Like exercise, it is work, but work with an immense payback. The glass really is “half full.” You don’t have to “…take it to the races…”
- Hormone therapy – Present studies, and re-evaluation of the original “Women’s Health Initiative” (WHI) studies prove the safety and advantages of low/mid-dose estrogen therapy, if started “near to menopause.” (It’s best within five years, but OK if initiated up to 10 years after final menses.) It’s safer if given transdermally (through the skin.) And remember, testosterone is a female hormone also – ask a seasoned menopause practitioner if it is for you.
- Sex – “Use it or lose it” applies here. If you have no present partner, there are many ways to pleasure yourself and keep things healthy and functioning “…down there…” This is a time for vaginal estrogen, possibly testosterone, a healthy perusal of the erotica section of your local bookstore, and online visits to such sites as www.grandopening.com, www.sexualityresources.com, www.healthysex.com, www.goodvibrations.com, and others. If you are partnered, what about your partner’s function, what about his erection? A little slow n’ slack? A good andrologist can help, making sure his lipids, blood sugar, and cardiovascular functioning are good, checking his free testosterone and introducing him to the world of pharmacologic erector sets.
- Enlist the help of your partner – Re-evaluate your relationship (perhaps even with the help of a therapist…) Develop a plan for how you both intend to enjoy the upcoming midlife years. Gently, but clearly, bring him on board as it relates to your desires and needs in the upcoming years. My book, “MEN-opause: The Book for Men” may be of assistance. Perhaps tell him what a chemise is and where he might acquire one for you to show off to him.
- Pay attention to yourself, your body, and your spirit – Go shopping. When was the last time you bought yourself a sexy dress? Shoes? Membership in the new yoga studio around the corner? You CAN teach old dogs new tricks!
Happy Happy! Joy to you this Valentines Day